| I need my own car |
[Nov. 2nd, 2007|08:41 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | life | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | lynchburg | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | David Bowie - Scream Like A Baby (-- RadioGhoulSchool --) | ] |
With every day it becomes more apparent that I need a car.
i missed the bus again.
This really sucks having to depend on others for transportation. I hate it like almost nothing else.
I must save up money and get m own car very soon. This cannot continue for another year. |
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| sex, adult personals and travel |
[Jul. 9th, 2007|08:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | lynchburg | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | Bored and horny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | deicide- scars of the crucifix | ] |
I have been thinking of upgrading my membership.
I mean if it will lead to sex and eventual travel to get sex then yes. However the problem is no one knows what will happen.
I still have those stipulations against me.
Women and couples (male female) who don't want me because of my race, sex, or age or all of the above.
Distance can be worked around since I don't mind driving 300 miles north to fuck someone.
Shit i plan to go to Toronto eventually but that's because that is where i plan to live eventually. Or at least i hope to.
I have also been thinking of changing jobs.
I don't care much for the one i have and if i can find a better one...perhaps as a convenience store clerk then maybe it might be better.
I just want New years eve and Christmas and Yule (the time i celebrate it anyways) off.
For now i just want to fuck but i want that a lot...more than usual. I guess it has more to do with the activity and seeing it all. the things i could do and have done to me. face sitting, cunnilingus, and just go old fashioned fucking.
Anyways for now i will try to relax and relieve tension in the way i always do and go to sleep and then work and go fill out an application and see where that gets me. |
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| driving can be fun |
[Jul. 6th, 2007|09:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | lynchburg | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | V.A.- Sound of Hate | ] |
I got to drive my friends' car today. It was nice and smooth. I made one error that everyone in the car made. I did not see the car behind me. I will now make sure to pay more attention to cars on my right. It's my main blinds pot. Other than that I think i did well. And I did not make them nervous which was also cool :) |
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| First time and second time |
[Jun. 28th, 2007|05:19 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | travel | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | lynchburg | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sophia- Sigilum Militum | ] |
Saturday I went flunked my driving test.
I was so pissed that day...what a fucking way to start off a Saturday.
I waited until i could try again.
Sunday came along, then Monday, and finally Tuesday. I got some practice with my instructor (and some more practice on Saturday). I got in just in time to take the test and passed it...finally. Now i can get the fuck out of this city for a while and actually do some shit I have wanted to do for a long time.
Like meet people and go hang out at clubs (goth and fetish) or maybe even see a live band (death metal, thrash, speed, or black) or even an industrial club or something..basically I can go out and so something. |
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| next to last driving lesson. |
[Jun. 21st, 2007|05:58 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | driving lessons | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TTC-Between Cross and Crescent | ] |
Tomorrow is my last driving lesson.
I also improved on what i did wrong the other day. i am doing better. I just need to slow down at the corners and inch close enough to see around. If nothing is coming turn...look once then twice then again and go.
I have to do this in a state of silence. No instruction.
So tomorrow I hope she will talk less and not put her hand on the wheel. I will become accustomed to her not being there. So i have to pretend like her voice is in my head but that voice is my own (or some otehr voice i use to be her voice....perhaps James Earl Jones hehe smile )
So tomorrow I do my lesson and Saturday I get my license.
I probably won't go anywhere until the week after next week...in any case I will be ready to leave the city and meet people.
For now...a snack...but first I must go to thte store to get pickles (kosher...perhaps NY Kosher Dill) |
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| drivering lessons |
[May. 10th, 2007|08:41 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | lynchburg | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Völkischer Kämpferbund- Völkischer Kämpferbund | ] |
I am getting a little worried because this date is speeding up rather quickly.
Soon it will be June and i will be soon learning how to drive if i can learn very quickly to budget my money better than I have been doing in the past.
I will be getting my usual German one but I think it may only be 2 or 3 bottles a month rather than the 4 i said long ago.
Of course these bottle must be less than usual. So with this I may only buy 1 20 dollar bottle of a nice QbA if i can find it and if possible if there is such a thing a inexpensive QMa bottle.
For now I drink my tea and get ready for work.
Gotta do well too...no fucking about. |
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| Beltane was great |
[May. 7th, 2007|07:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | lynchburg | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Robert, A- Myth Directions | ] |
I have been back from Beltane for a while.
I got some much needed sleep.
I had a great time.
I would not trade this experience for anything in the world.
Nothing compares to it (including when I gave away my virginity).
The ritual was great too. :)
This was without a shadow of doubt one of the best times I have had in a long time.
I must get my drivers license this summer.
I met a lot of very cool people (2 of which I plan to email tonight). |
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| I would feel much better if |
[Jan. 10th, 2007|02:40 pm] |
my family never brought up religion again.
I am pretty sure sometime in the future my aunt is going to chime in on this.
This is the confrontation i am waiting for.
I don't care for her religion and never will.
I really hate having to put up with this kind of crap.
I find it irritating.
My aunt asked me why i never talk about religion.
I think she knows now.
I will never feel comfortable talking about religion.
1. because i hate to debate and am not good enough at it yet.
2. I don't have patience and will eventually start cursing at the other person.
3. I plan to move out eventually. and if i have to swear off all contact with my family if they keep up this pursuit of Xtianizing me.
For now it seem that the only people in my family that i can comfortably talk to are my two brothers and that's it.
Soon it may be no one from my family for they are all starting to piss me off...I hope it will remain my 2 brothers. |
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| even though i am drunk |
[Dec. 30th, 2006|11:51 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | fuck xtianity | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | lynchburg | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | music |
| | George Carlin,- When will Jesus bring the pork chops | ] |
This needed to be said although i probably could have said it earlier today.
I hope sometime before the end of next year (sooner than later) my relatives just give up on trying to "save" me.
I don't like their religion and want nothing to do with it.
I think it would be better if they just cut me out of the family rather than keep pestering me about excepting the their god (jebus).
I did not like Xtianity in high school and i don't like it now.
Some day they will quit or i will have to make them the only way i know how...by being a complete prick and asshole. |
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| Monday |
[Oct. 16th, 2006|11:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Lynchburg | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  worried | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Genocide Organ - Remember | ] |
The day is almost over.
It was a rather evntful day.
Usual stuff... sort of
Right now my main concern is this thursday to Sundae.
I hope all goes well or very very close to well.
Only time will tell as far as this is concerned though.
Anyways... now to doing otehr stuff... reading websurfing and email checking... sual night stuff.
Gotta reboot too soon.
Memory is running down. |
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| Freyja 's Day |
[Oct. 13th, 2006|07:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Lynchburg | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sutcliffe Jugend - We Spit On Their Graves | ] |
Today is a new day (sort of ... i mean it's bee going on for quite a while... all day in fact ... lol but i digress)
I now have a wireless keyboard (given to me by aunt) along with a wireless mouse... better than the trackball i have which is starting to crap out on me.
I really should get a wireless lazer clickball ... those are so much better... but a bit pricey.
ANyways i really need to get bateries for my keyboard so i can stop using the one that i have... and eventually i will....also i notice today is the 13th of Friday (Jason comes to mind along with all the superstition associated with friday).
Anyways for now I read and listen to musik....how do i love music....i love it so very much ... even though i like many am a musik elitist... i can't help it... some musik's suck and truly suck.... i just don't like everything but am still pretty openminded about certan genres but am also elitist about certain genres and subgenres and styles of music...anyways I shall continue reading and drinking my coffee...one last thing
I notice similarities between the God Zeus and Lugh in their early lives.
Zeus was almost killed by his father Kronos and Lugh was supposed to be killed as well... both Survived to become great God's |
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| Illinois |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|01:22 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | life, money, travel | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Lynchburg | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | worried | ] |
| [ | music |
| | v.a. Steinklang Industries II (cd 2 Ritual) | ] |
the trip is off for now until i can settle my finances (i very much want to go there but sadly i cannot :()
It sorrows me that i cannot go now for i wish to go but sometimes these things happen.
Can't always count on money to be there when you need it all the time sometimes you have to wait (like in this case) and so i wait and wait and wait until the time comes when i can finally drive there and meet her and be with her even if it is only for a while until the day when i can finally be with her permanently (here if all goes well). |
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| another day another.... glass of ginger ale |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|01:14 pm] |
I plan to watch what i eat from now on when i drink. It is getting out of hand. I also wish not to make any of the mistakes of old as far as drinking is concerned so i don't fall into the tramp of stress, depression, anxiety, and irratibility.
No more vomiting from this day forward and better eating (which may take sometime to work on but i think with the right discipline i can eat better or at least better than i do)
Now that i have settled on the Greek pantheon i may begin my research an creation of a shrine.
SOmetime in the future i need to work on getting my drivers license also.
i want to get it by at least the end if of the year if i can.
I hate not being able to drive.
This has gone on too far and i need to get this done as quickly as possible, so at least i won't have this thing haing over my head.
Life is difficult enough with hout adding more problems to the mix. |
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| I hit my stride last night and then i lost it |
[Sep. 27th, 2006|11:10 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | life | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Lynchburg | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nurse with wound - Rat Tapes | ] |
I have only a few hours left to finish an essay about a character i grow less and less intersted in.
At first i was rather sympethetic. Now all i want to do is finish this fucking story so i can move onto something else.
Writes block sucks. Especially when you are trying to create an opinion about a character who seems less and less interesting or wven worth paying any ammount of attention to.
I hope the next big essay has something that i can feel for or find some kind of interest in and keep that interest.
This is going to be one of those days. |
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| Another sundae gone by |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|01:01 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | life | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Lynchburg, Va | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Non- Children of the Black Sun | ] |
It's 1 in the am and i am sitting at my computer about to use the restroom and then read.
Yesturday was ok... not so much an eventful day. My friend out west had a terrible evening.
I hope she can get through it and i hope i can be assistance to her throuhh her days of turmoil.
I was going to go to church but did not.
Instead i sat around, slept a bit and then did a bit of reading and watching television.
I saw the new episode of Death Clock.
I loved it.
I cannot wait to see the next one.
I also hear about a new movie coming out called Lords of Chaos based on the book by the same name.
I am raher interested in the movie being that i read the book.
I wonder if Michael Moynihan will have anything to do with it (thougg boubtful).
It will ignore a lot in the block Metal world but then again... it is a first ... a movie about black metal... i just hoe there is a good soundtrack... no shit musik on this one.
ALl death and black metal should be on this soundrack... and nothing else... anything less and it's a fucking peice of shit. |
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